Cpl. Colonel Crittendon: No need to worry, I have a photographic memory. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Some of the gang back in Berlin. Colonel Klink: If the prisoners ask any questions about these explosions, you know nothing; you are ignorant. Hogan: Well if it makes you feel any better, sir, there IS a chimpanzee raking in the garden. [Hochstetter pulls out gun] Me leaving. Back! Helga: As a warrior, you must feel it deeply. Colonel Crittendon: Good? Come on, tell us about it. Hogan's Heroes | Hogan's Heroes | Fandom In the second place this isn't a social visit, its official. It's so good when he leaves. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Take my word, Klink, this is no time to be a sound sleeper. Who's worried about firing? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [to Col. Klink] Who would want to escape from all this beauty? Sgt. Marya: Poor Putzie. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Have all security precautions been strictly observed? Col. Wilhelm Klink: My cooler is your cooler. But the major has a plan to cripple the entire Russian rocket program. I warned you not to listen to me unless I tell you to. He took me for 50 marks. [Normal tone of voice] You make me feel terrible. Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Don't you know no one is allowed outside after roll call? The party was for me." Hochstetter incredulously:"You give your prisoner a BIRTHDAY PARTY?" Hochstetter:"KLINK! Web. She is my interpreter, Hochstetter. She must be an orangutan. He barely escaped the terrible raid! [Hands over papers with orders to Klink] Colonel Klink: Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, it's true, we dug the tunnel and tried to escape. Schultz: [walking in to the office introducing a Captain] Herr Kommandant, this is Captain M?ller. Major Hochstetter has found a U.S. Armed Forces button a. What is this man doing here? Cpl. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, you meant the lady in the red dress, and she has been eating steadily for an hour and a half. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Look, I got the idea of stealing it, right? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink. "Colonel Klink, when I received your invitation, for a moment I had forgotten who you were. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're still going to send me home, aren't you? You are ignorant! Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, Major Hochstetter. Let me say, sir. Peter Newkirk: I find that question, sir, 'ighly insulting. Sgt. It's some kind of instructions fro Nimrod. Col. Wilhelm Klink: What are you waiting for? Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's a lot better than if he saw him lying in the sack goldbricking. Louis LeBeau: I wasn't sure what that one meant myself. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [draws gun, pointing it to LeBeau's head] Take your choice, huh: waltz, foxtrot, or shot as an escaping prisoner. Schultz: No, Herr Kommandant! It's almost PAST time for Roll Call! The Allies won't bomb a prisoner of war camp. You're lazy, you're fat, you sleep on duty. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is this man doing here? Col. Wilhelm Klink: This time tell me the good news first. Now, Klink, where do these lines cross? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: In the first place my wife is neither delightful or charming. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [looks in Newkirk's mouth] Aha! Cpl. In. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Did you hear that, Schultz? A secret is sacred to me. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink, a German officer has been insulted. Andrew Carter: Hey, gang! Quiet you blithering idiot, I'm trying to think! He has? Col. Wilhelm Klink: You fool! Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Klink explaining the purchasing plan] I understand they're already beginning to call it the "Klink Plan". Cpl. See also Col. Wilhelm Klink: Where are the two prisoners who tried to escape? Carter? Hochstetter meanwhile has called Himmler, explains the situation and receives orders to arrest Klink's "dear friend" Richter, to which Klink insists that he hardly knows him and that he has no dear friends, a fact which Hochstetter is willing to believe. Col. Wilhelm Klink: I'm sure Mrs. Burkhalter was famished when she arrived. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: I am sure it's not necessary to tell you what will happen to you should there be an escape, hmm? Traitors, all of you. That's why I came here in the first place! Andrew Carter: How true- that's true! Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Hogan is kissing Tiger goodbye out on the compound]. Col. Robert E. Hogan: LeBeau, my boy, I'm holding you in reserve. "Hogan's Heroes Quotes." [no response] Achtung! No matter who you're calling it's still the wrong number because I don't even have a phone! You run such a perfect camp, Klink, you have no need for a cooler. The weather is getting a little nippy. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Thirty days is an cruel and human unjustified punishment, to be inflicted only by a sadist. : You're not gonna get anything out of me. Col. Wilhelm Klink: But, But this is classified, General. "Funny Thing Happened on the Way to London" has as Canadian Lloyd Bochner playing dual roles as an Englishman and a German. Technical Specs. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [annoyed] Now tell me: was it Tuesday or was it Wednesday? Hochstetter for example would have to be a Sturmbannfhrer. Roll Call! General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Nimrod? Back, back, all of you. Col. Robert E. Hogan: But you'll have to eat it there. Col. Robert E. Hogan: And I suppose, uh, she put her arms around you? Which wire, Colonel Klink? That *is* bigger than a piano. Col. Wilhelm Klink: No, sir. Peter Newkirk: Where are we going to hide a tank? We've got him. We had pistachio, but one of the guards shot it with a machine gun. General von Rauscher: Are you aware that I am in charge of this project, and that this is the inventor? Hogan's Heroes is an American television sitcom set in a German prisoner of war (POW) camp during World War II. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, sir, I'm ignorant. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Birthday cake? Kindly be just as clever and get these plans out of this one. Sgt. Didn't I tell you I could break this code. Take that paper out of your mouth. Peter Newkirk: Monkey, Schultz? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, then he is fat. : Major Hochstetter Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Col. Wilhelm Klink: [hanging up the phone] General Burkhalter, I'm sorry to say your sister has been kidnapped. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: First suppose you tell me what you were doing there. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. Louis LeBeau: How do we get it in here? They knocked the stuffing out of the Messerschmitt factory and got away from the Luftwaffe! For me? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, this is so degrading. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Someone around here has to be. Alright, alright. Col. Robert E. Hogan: For the liberation. Andrew Carter: I yell and scream at him, call him a few twelve-letter names, and if he still gives me an argument, I think of something else. Sgt. Uh, did you come on military business, or is this a social call? Col. Wilhelm Klink: You cannot use it, and that's final. Col. Wilhelm Klink Anchors Aweigh, Men of Stalag 13 Happy Birthday, Adolf The Gold Rush Hello, Zollie It Takes a Thief. General von Rauscher Col. Robert E. Hogan: Have you got everything straight? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Schultz tells about his evening] Don't just stand there, Schultz. Hans Georg Schultz: What do you think? Col. Robert E. Hogan: Carter, civilians aren't allowed to carry firearms, and besides Kinch'll be outside if you need any help. : This is WHY Major Wolfgang Hochstetter Was PROBABLY Agent "Nimrod!" Many watching Hogan's Heroes have seen the episode, the Missing Klink. I've doubled the tower guards, the searchlights. You will all stay away from that rocket. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Why not? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Order your men to search the area. Now that you all know it [Schultz leaves and then re-enters the room]. The ultimate weapon didn't quite work out. | Responsible for the security of our witness. Schultz: Col. Hogan if you ever escape Schultz: Be a good fellow and take me with you. I fully intend Hogan, why are you so composed? Cpl. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Don't let the war make you cynical, sir. Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: Select another language: - Select - (Chinese - Simplified) I must explore the matter further alone. : Hans Georg Schultz: Easy. Sgt. Sgt. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, stop agreeing with me. If we're wrong, what are they going to do? Col. Wilhelm Klink Col. Wilhelm Klink: Ah, leave that to me, General Burkhalter. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter He'll do for them what he's done for you. Andrew Carter: Schultz says I might get shot. Colonel Klink: If those orders are not carried out, both you and the courier will be court-martialed, shot and sent to the Russian front! Scene with great timing between the three actors (Howard Caine, Werner Klemperer, and John Banner). Hogan: [the phone rings while Hogan's men are cracking a safe] Answer the phone, tell him it's the wrong number. Was it really Colonel Crittenden who was responsible for yesterday? Cpl. We got our rights; we're as good as they are. LeBeau glares at him] At 9:55, I go into the station master, and I tell him I have this package that has to go out on the Berlin Express. The Gestapo is taking over. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Yeah, that's right. The Geneva Convention - not a word. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Who is that woman? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [reads note] My dear Colonel, clever the way you got Wagner out of that prison camp. I never could hang on to money. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major, this happens to be Tuesday. No one has ever escaped from Stalag 13. : : [energetically and enthusiastically gets up off his chair and shakes the captain's hand]. Hans Georg Schultz: Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. What witness? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Operation Albatross? KLINK Go get Colonel Hogan. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Exactly two miles And she ate a sandwich in the car. Sgt. All heads will roll! Louis LeBeau: You're wasting your time, Major Hochstetter. Filming & Production General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: I consider it the perfect oversight. He is best remembered for playing the role of German Gestapo Major 'Wolfgang Hochstetter' in the television comedy series, Hogan's Heroes (1967 to 1971). General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Do you think I would ever let a Burkhalter marry a Klink? Major Hochstetter: Kommandant Klink: a man who could have been great, except he wasn't very good. Well, Colonel, what you say, hmm? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Speak up, Schultz. WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? Thirty days in the cooler. The show is now better recognized than the serious movies it was making fun of, which is why there are modern viewers who wonder why anyone thought the subject matter was funny in the first place. Sgt. [Major Hochstetter returns to Stalag 13, demanding that Klink surrender Col. Robert E. Hogan: So what? Howard Caine: Maj. Hochstetter, Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter - IMDb Andrew Carter: We haven't got time Our what? Major Hochstetter: Everybody under arrest! Major Hochstetter looks for escaped prisoners with the help of dogs redlt194 729K views 6 years ago Hogan's Heroes - Carter imitates German General ireckon17 1.2M views 5 years ago Hogan's. * What witness? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Yeah, that's not the code Oh, it's the old double-look method. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: [does so] Sorry, general. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Berlin is calling every minute. Filming & Production The moonlight- it's beautiful on the laundry or the bakery. Col. Wilhelm Klink Col. Robert E. Hogan: Because you could fly or because you were bald? Col. Wilhelm Klink: The men responsible for this will be confined to barracks for two weeks. Hans Georg Schultz: That's right! | Filled with fear, frightened to express any kind of opinion. Instead of your party, I'll be soaking my knee". Mix 'em up. : Cpl. [Hogan decides to destroy the German ammo dump unsuccessfully attacked by Sergeant Orchard and his men]. Louis LeBeau: The new girlie magazines must be in from Paris. Sgt. Peter Newkirk: All the way around? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Surprise, yes. Andrew Carter: You Germans can't get together on *anything.*. General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: My dear major, there is no danger of it firing- General von Rauscher: Firing? [while safecracking, the phone rings in Klink's office and Carter answers]. You can depend on me. Hans Georg Schultz: [Very excitedly] It's Bee-yoo-ti-ful! His specialty is military protocol. Official Sites You didn't know behind that stern soldier, there is a a world traveler, a dreamer a lover! Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter This whole thing doesn't makes sense. Col. Robert E. Hogan: They were going into town for a very good reason. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [reading a list of invited people to the meeting] It doesn't have the name "Colonel Klink" in there. : 1 May 2023. Which one would you cut, Shultz? The war is back on! I won't say a word. Sgt. The man can't dance. Hogan's HerosHogan meets Major Hochstetter for 1st timeWhat is this man doing here Quotes Col. Robert E. Hogan: Ah, Major Hochstetter, always a pleasure to see your smiling face. How about "Lili Marlene"! Col. Robert E. Hogan: It's the least you can do, considering. Sgt. Col. Wilhelm Klink: That is exactly what I was going to say. Col. Wilhelm Klink: [shouting] And more, I wanna tell you [Klink and Hochstetter shout into each other, so you can barely understand what they're shouting]. We have no choice in the matter. I will surround this camp with a ring of steel. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: They must be sending out the location of our rocket launchers. That's why I was known to my classmates as 'The Eagle'. Cpl. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter My lips are sealed. Cpl. You can't take it home, sir. Hans Georg Schultz: Don't they drink tea in France? Col. Robert E. Hogan: [indignantly] That's to keep the tooth warm! You may be able to solve it anyway. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Do you consider this adequate punishment, Kom-man-dant? General von Rauscher: Responsible for the security of our witness. Hogan's Heroes - Wikiquote Did you hear me? Colonel Feldkamp would have to be a Standartenfhrer. Louis LeBeau: A dancing lesson? Schultz: Me send for you? Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Well, it's in code. Col. Robert E. Hogan: There's a rule or something? Colonel Klink: Schultz, into the cooler they go. Hochstetter had several catchphrases, including (referring to Hogan) "Who is this man?" and "What is this man doing here?", and "I will surround this camp with a ring of steel." He would also shout "Baah!" as he leaves the room, when frustrated by the camp's incompetent commanding officer, Colonel Klink. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: He isn't going anywhere with the information, is he? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [after sending Maj. Hochstetters spy out of the office, making him believe they're gonna raid the prisoner's barracks Wednesday night] Tuesday night. Keep your costs down, put your house in order, or the next time you want caviar, you won't have to import it - you can catch your own on the Volga. General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: My dear major, there is no danger of it firing- General von Rauscher: Firing? So handsome and so unlucky. General von Rauscher: I AM IN CHARGE OF SECURITY- Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink, do not try to explain this incident to him. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Ah, I always have a glass before bedtime makes me sleep like a baby. Sgt. Col. Robert E. Hogan: You're right, the situation is hopeless, there's no solution, we're faced with an absolute impossibility. It was three years ago, in November I think. Hans Georg Schultz: Well, she let me kiss her - affectionately, you know? Werner Klemperer played Colonel Wilhelm Klink, the incompetent commandant of the camp, and John Banner played the bungling sergeant-of-the-guard, Sergeant Hans Schultz. Isaac Bashevis Singer We were born with natural rights. Schultz and Hilda look at each other, and shrug]. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: The fat prosecutor. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, oh, Herr General, you're much thinner than I thought you'd be. It's superb. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, you should have been there. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Now, is there anything I can get you, General, before you go to sleep - perhaps a glass of warm milk? A child could do that. : Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: YOU GIVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A PRISONER? While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that? Col. Wilhelm Klink: [surprised and aghast] Hogan, you are the biggest liar I have ever met in my whole life! Sgt. Hogan, I Marya [slams door shut]. Andrew Carter: [dressed as Klink] Maybe you better run through it once more. Please take your truck and its cargo some other place. Newkirk: Oh no, must be half past ten by now. Col. Robert E. Hogan: This little caper of yours better come off. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Well, that's the way I picture him. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter General von Rauscher, Col. Wilhelm Klink: General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Klink! I'm sick and tired of fighting and bloodshed. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What is it at your camp, Klink? General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: [catching Schultz asleep] On your feet Schultz! Hogan's Heroes / Trivia - TV Tropes What is this man doing here? Who's "we"? Col. Robert E. Hogan: A birthday gift for you. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe: You keep that up and Klink'll be down here in a minute and there goes the ball game! Look, if the Germans can have an American prisoner, why can't the Americans have a German prisoner. You've made me homesick for Cleveland. One of these wires disconnects the fuse, the other one fires the bomb. Harold J Stone and Howard Caine make the believable and entertaining. It's even bigger than a breadbox! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. In a few minutes Nimrod will be my prisoner. Hans Georg Schultz: That's the only one I had. Cpl. [pause] So what if you haven't told me who you're calling yet? [Klink in a casual tone starts reading to himself the captain's orders paper], Colonel Klink: "All ranks are ordered to extend complete cooperation, assist without question. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Yes, Major Hochstetter. What good is a rusty monocle? Anyone within a hundred yards of this rocket will be shot und reshot. Even that will not discourage me. The Adolf Hitler Bridge is still in business. Col. Robert E. Hogan: Look Metzler, why can't you understand? That way we will get the full impact on public opinion. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter Col. Robert E. Hogan Sgt. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: And if you ever tell anyone, I will have you kept in this cooler for a year. Andrew Carter: Well, that's what Newkirk says it means. : Back. Col. Robert E. Hogan: That's the problem. I fully intend - - Hogan, why are you so composed? [points to the white wire], Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Cuts the black wire, the bomb stops ticking]. Col. Wilhelm Klink: Hogan thinks he can outsmart me. !" As an SS-Sturmbannfhrer, Hochstetter is outranked by two full grades by Colonel Klink. *Now* I'm delivering *newspapers*! Hogan's Heroes is an American television sitcom set in a German prisoner of war (POW) camp during World War II. Now let me leave you with this warning, 'While the cats away the mice better not play'. Release Dates Peter Newkirk: [as Humphrey Bogart] Then droppen sie dead. Take them away. Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Witness? Who's worried about firing? You have chosen the most dangerous man in all of Germany as a witness. Col. Robert E. Hogan: We'll give it back after we take it apart and make blueprints of it. Col. Wilhelm Klink: You have practically ensured the success of the "Klink Plan". General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: [reading the plan] Amazing. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: Oh? Peter Newkirk: [as German adjutant] Transfer to the Russian front, sir, or court-martial to be shot? Still, you're a likable clod. Louis LeBeau: Then why are they bringing it here? Col. Wilhelm Klink: Schultz, so you made a few stupid mistakes. Helga: Are you volunteering for active duty Herr Kommandant? Quotes.net. She's clever, forceful, efficient, thrifty. I saved you some cake. I always thought it meant 'Good morning' or 'Greetings, Mate.' Cruel, sir, cruel. Alf the Artist: [after coming up out of the emergency tunnel] Ah, thank you very much. : General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: For two hours you have been telling me that. Uh, did you come on military business, or is this a social call? : Col. Robert E. Hogan: I think I have an idea on how to explain the noise. No, wait a minute. Demolished the building, wiped out the garrison, killed Kommandant Hedrick, knocked the Fuhrer's picture off the wall and everything. General der Infanterie Albert Burkhalter: [walks in] KLINK!
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