Um. I'm great with girls. Cause he smells. You left seven witnesses, guys. You're a failure. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. The dead BLU soldier slides off the roof. by 1. The Soldier stands with his arms akimbo. Miss Pauling steps forward and turns to look at the bomb. The Scout then can be seen dancing around the room with the dummy. ], [The background music stops and the van grows quiet. Miss Pauling climbs to her feet and darts away, pressing herself up against the RED payload bomb. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! ], [The Scout looks back, confused, and turns forward, arms akimbo.]. can is punctured by a brass flourish. The ones that don't go for a guy like me. More cans of BONK! Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! It uses the same firing sound as the, This gun heavily resembles the real-world. The Engineer turns. No. Copypasta is a block of text that you can copy and paste into any chat or messaging platform. Okay. ], [The camera cuts to a rear shot of the van pulling into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and several Sentries and a RED-owned building in the distance. ], Spy: I think it's going pretty well [He gives the Scout a pat on the back as a cloud of dust rolls over them.] [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's fluffy chest, who's waiting for her there.]. ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. [he tosses it and draws another while the Scout giggles] The Eiffel Tower having sexual congress with me. Recommended videos. Engineer: Guys! 2. [He turns abruptly. Fast zoom to the inside of its mouth, and the dove it swallowed earlier is seen sitting inside it. A hand comes from offscreen and flicks the head.] Give me your watch! Please. TF2 Spy snort. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. ], [Miss Pauling looks Scout in the eyes, grabs a hold of his arm, and gives him a nod of approval. Look, my wast few hours I just wanted [The bread monster grabs a hold of the bomb and swings it around in the air. Muffled shots can be heard. - What? Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. We are going to live forever! The Spy calmly places a wine bottle on a cart and inspects two wine glasses. They both glare at him, ignoring the keys which clatter to the floor. Now would be agood time. Scout: Wait. He adjusts his hat and headset with both hands. The Spy is startled] Medic: Three days. [Spy walks away to pour a drink. If not, I gotta kill him. Spy simply looks down at him with a smug grin on his face. I'd like to go on a datewith Miss Pauling. Scout: [giggling] Oh man, Classic Scout. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again], The TF2: Expiration Date but Scout is a furry. Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that-- [Miss Pauling spots the watch on Scout's arm] --Oh, oh! The Sniper is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. You too. Cut back to Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. The head of the dummy falls off as the music reaches a crescendo, and Spy eyes it with a bemused expression on his face. Sowe're both busy. Spy: [sudden close-up while the background music cuts off] The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Suddenly, a Red Bread truck screeches into view from the right, knocking away the can and . Here, watch this. Spy delegated the task of collecting wishes to Scout, who has filled it with drawings of the Spy being hit by a car and having a romantic relationship with the Eiffel Tower. The furry, however, is unimpressed.]. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. Medic:I didn't say that! ], [The Scout coughs and the Spy delicately places the second glass down. Scout, meanwhile, runs up to the side of the bread monster and slams his club into it. This means none of the mercenaries have tumors, and thus are not going to die. The Spy rolls his eyes and shakes his head in amusement.] The camera spotlights the loaf with ominous bass piano notes. At 5:55, a painting of a bowl of fruit with a knife in the apple is seen behind the Spy. ], [Interior shot of the cab. Miss Pauling: [quickly] I was furious. The Spy walks slowly, passing front of the camera left to right, cigarette in hand.]. No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. On July 1st, 2021, artist TheF1amethr0wer tweeted[6] a This Is Where I Watched My Parents Die, Raphael meme that received over 3,700 retweets and 23,600 likes in three weeks (shown below, right). before the Engineer interrupts them. I'm leaving the van now. Spy: [another sigh] Does it say you want the bucket? Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. What have you two eggy-heads been workin' on? As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at the Spy as he walks away. The screen cuts to black. Wait. Expiration Date Sequel Script (LEAKED) spoiler nsfw. Nathan Vetterlein said he worked very closely with Ashly Burch during the short's creation. And this. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?! [He uses the dummy to slap Scout across the face, who looks up at him with a hurt expression in his eyes. 1. I TELEPORTED BREAD! Hey that's, that's funny. The bread monster turns his attention towards the Pyro, and immediately has its mouth filled with fire. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing. Miss Pauling: Well, on Friday I got to kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button andoh. One of Medic's doves can be seen sitting in a birdcage hanging from the ceiling.]. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. Can the cook be trusted? They enter the room that Soldier, Spy and Demoman are in and inform them that they are fine as long as no more bread is teleported. He sits back down and slides out of his chair. Everyone is wearing an odd watch with a large digital display. You have a dinner date for seven what time do you arrive? - I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days. Fine. Stunned by the blast, Miss Pauling and Scout painfully but quickly recover inside the bread monster. The background music stops]. - Question? Suddenly the Engineer bursts in through the door behind them.]. Ow. In recent news, the video-game company Valve is in hot water. At 4:16, the Scout line, "Classic Scout", was improvised by voice actor Nathan Vetterlein as detailed in his Twitch Stream. Scout: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. Minusve're not bread. ], Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. He stammers and scratches his muzzle.]. ], [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. [An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as the group look up at the ceiling. The TF2: Expiration Date but Scout is a furry. Pressing the one button you're never supposed to press? [he gestures emphatically with his lit cigarette while the trumpets and drum beats swell]. Ooh, look! Spy: [turns] You? [Cut to a close-up of the watch. The Soldier attempts to extricate the BLU Demoman's body from the hood of the van. [The strings hold, then fade as the scene cuts to black. They take shelter behind it. The Soldier attempts to extricate the BLU Demoman's body from the hood of the van. Cut back to the Medic]. [The Heavy and Sniper are slightly amused. Before you go. Scout: [regains confidence] You're probably real busy this weekend, right? Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. Medic: [cheerily, gesturing slightly with a half of the throbbing loaf] Tumors! ], [The Engineer walks off-camera as energetic drums start to play in the background. This painting is a parody of. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. He returns his eyes to the road. Scout: Ehhh. Goodbye! Scout: [in pain] Wait! Scout: What? He returns the glance awkwardly. Engineer: That goes for all of ya. She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. Scout reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but Spy slaps his paw away. The numbers are stamped on and can sometimes be hard to read or find depending on where they were placed. I just said we're not filled with tumors! [He looks down at the cart. He blows into it, causing feedback which reverberates throughout the building. Hmm. The monster throws Scout at the Demoman, and they both collapse onto the ground. to view a random entry. 48. Copy and paste your choice of scripts, featuring the "Meet the Team" videos by Valve. Scout: [disinterestedly while the background drum beats a steady tattoo] Wow. No. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! Medic: Vell, let's see. Medic: Times four years. Later, Medic and Engineer discover that Soldier has been teleporting bread for three days. Cut to black. can be seen littered around the room, and he is now reading a book titled Dating Nice Girls. Heavy grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to the Demoman, who is carrying a case of beer under his arm. I'm going to be dead. The Scout and Heavy look worried while the Engineer looks down at the floor. The Heavy continues to drive the van on the right side of the road when the dashboard monitor begins to softly beep. by Ah [Scout walks towards a door labeled Dining Area.] [The Medic shakes up the jar he's carrying, which contains the bread creature from earlier. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster but pauses as the RED Bomb trundles into view.]. We have the resources. tscheezpuffs. [Cut back to the battle, and the Pyro stomps on one of the tentacles. The monitor buzzes off. Side view of cab with the Scout leaning back resignedly. ], [The blackboard has the results of previous teleporter experiments written on it. Tell me you got the briefcase. It continues down the left lane. During this scene, the Heavy appears to wearing his watch, but with no strap. Medic: Where?! The Medic estimates that each team member has about three days left to live. The logo is pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. Miss Pauling: [Yelling] What the hell is that!? The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion. The Spy swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. The Spy steps from the front of the table and walks from right to left, lit cigarette in his right hand, and the left firmly clasped behind his back.]. ], [They back up towards the blast doors as the bread monster lumbers towards them slowly. Miss Pauling: Actually this is my only day off this year. [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! [Spy walks away to pour a drink. Scout: I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry. [Suddenly, the Spy's voice is heard. The tumors are now plainly visible on the outside. Miss Pauling: Oh! Miss Pauling: TomorrowI'm belt sanding the fingerprints off a pile of corpses. Upset at Scout for wasting her one day off a year, Miss Pauling begins to leave. Scout: You look You look aahhhhhh [Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Demoman, Soldier, and Spy in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. ], Spy: We are mercenaries. A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. Say something. 2007-2023 Literally Media Ltd. Hey Niko, It's Been 14 Years, Let's Go Bowling! The will. Alright. ], [In the classroom, the word DEMEANOR is now written on the board as the Spy continues to educate Scout, who is busy drawing a picture of Spy being shot in the head. Mcfighter2 Nov 22, 2017 @ 6:23am. Scout: Yeah, sure! Spy: Excellent. No. The Heavy's bulk is apparent on the left as compared to the Scout's relaxed pose with his feet on the dashboard. Behind him is a crash-test dummy, hanging on a stand. He leans on it trying to force Scout out.]. Scout: You look You look aahhhhhh [Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Demoman, Soldier, and Spy in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. The Scout then can be seen dancing around the room with the dummy. Scout: [in pain] Wait! [A bloodied hand can be seen in the background reaching for help. [He raises his paws and shrugs his shoulders] Basically nobody. By entergalactic. You're terrible with girls. 'r' At 3:02, the animation when Scout smiles and looks at Soldier is recycled seconds later at 3:05. A loaf of the bread falls off of the pile and Soldier gasps and grabs his bucket more tightly. The camera moves to an overhead shot of the now-empty table as the Spy pulls his Cigarette Case from his jacket and draws a cigarette. We're not dying! He places a hand on the Heavy's shoulder, jerking him awake. Miss Pauling: That was so much FUN! 70 hours left to live and counting. I failed, did I? The kind that smell good, and can read. Here you've drawn me having [The camera tastefully remains on his face.] He looks down, then chuckles sadly to himself. [A smile forms on her face]. Scout: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. [The Engineer gestures with his head to the Teleporter. The Engineer intervenes raising his hands.]. Blonde fox: [shrugs] Eh, okay. [The Medic throws the jar containing the bread creature onto the ground. and our I'm leaving the van now. ], [The Spy shakes his head, lowers his eyes, and brings his fingers to his temple in annoyance. The Scout tosses the keys. [A security camera tracks their movements as Miss Pauling adjusts her glasses.]. He attempts to mimic the Spy's actions, but instead sends the dummy flying into the Reel-to-Reel player behind them. Spy: [sighing] Fantastic. Goodbye! Spy: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. For most men, no time at all. [Disgusted, the Spy slides the bucket over as the rest of the mercenaries get up to leave. Ominous sounding strings start up. He glances down to his right, and picks up a long piece of twisted metal with a spike on the end of it to use as a makeshift weapon. At 10:36, angered at Soldier's teleportation of bread, Medic smashes the Specimen #384 jar, freeing the juvenile Bread monster seen playing with Pyro at 14:42. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! A slow downwards pan to a crushed Bonk! Fine. The bell rings a third time and the screen blacks out again]. Scout: Wait! A can of BONK! Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Shattering glass can be heard.']. Miss Pauling: [Opening her eyes] I can't feel anything below my neck Miss Pauling: Oh. Scout reaches for the bucket of chicken with a grin on his face, but Spy slaps his hand away. She comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand. ], [Fade to a shot of the Medic's Laboratory. Scout: [Struggling] Aaahhhh Ah UwU, Miss Pauling, you all right? In subsequent shots, the Heavy's death watch seems to be missing, until 3:42. [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. It is a video call from Miss Pauling.]. At 10:22, just as the Engineer comes to rest his arms on the shoulder's of the Soldier and the Medic, the Engineer's right arm clips through Medic's backpack. [Cut to a close-up of the timer, which ticks down to two seconds. [The Soldier suddenly grabs the Scout by the neck and slams him onto the table.]. Scout, are we having a prom? Expiration Date teamfortress 1.2M subscribers Subscribe 36M views 8 years ago Engineer and Medic make an unsettling new discovery while experimenting with the teleporter. [Cut to the Heavy. A look of determination can be seen on her face. Soldier: Arrghh! Scout: [stammering] Oh g-good. Ominous bass strings play. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. Scout: [nervously] Yeah. He confides that he did have a real wish for the bucket list: a date with Miss Pauling. Soldier: [Poking his head into the cavity] Good news! His brow wrinkles]. The Medic continues to scream as he grabs onto the bread creature and attempts to pry it off. [He makes a gun formation with his right paw. [4] Reddit I have done nothing but teleport bread for the past three days. At 1:21, when Miss Pauling goes off camera, the firing sound of the Revolver can be heard. A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. Spy: Say that [pushes microphone towards Scout] again. 1 . Miss Pauling reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.] I get one day off a year. [He smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown] Wait, nah. Soldier has a grin on his face, Demo looks concerned, and Spy looks very worried. This painting is a parody of, At 6:04, a painting can be seen behind the Spy of him riding a horse. A medium tempo jazz instrumental starts with flute, piano, and drums. Now go! Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. On June 18th, Redditor ThamosII posted an SFM image of Soldier teleporting bread which received over 1,600 upvotes in /r/tf2[4] in six months (shown below, right). [he brings out a card] I'd uh. He places down a glass. Now would be agood time. It also holds a bucket of drumsticks, red roses, a vase, and a box of RED chocolates. Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which the Scout, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it, a more confident expression on his face. Well the Yeah, the thing is [Cut to a shot of Soldier, Spy, and Demo watching the monitors. [The bread monster crashes through the door as Scout pulls Miss Pauling out of harm's way. The Pyro can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the bread monster. What? What an unexpected surprise. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. It is whole, weird, confusing, and hilario. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 4. Wait! You fuckin furry, you did collect everyone's dying wish? Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with a dragon. ], [She disappears off-camera. It was a gloomy day. 6. ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. A can of BONK! Engineer: [Threateningly] How much? Engineer: [adjusting his helmet] Y'all know what this means right? [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Miss Pauling tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, helmet falling off of her head. ], [The camera pans slowly with the Scout walking left to right from the van to the table. ], [Scout can be seen reading a book titled Pick-up Lines for Fast Food Junkies. Jump cut to the future, and a pile of books has begun to accumulate around Scout, who has a pencil clenched between his teeth. rocks worth money in michigan, massachusetts cheerleading competitions 2021, gender roles in the 1890s,

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