Inspiring Birthday Quotes "God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Voltaire "You were born an original. Texas Stock Photos . -Unknown, Years ago someone pointed out that Texas is hell on women and horses. He's yellow as mustard but without the bite. "Her favorite dress is her favorite blue jeans.". On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. Bright as a new penny.Smart as a hooty owl.No flies on my mama.Smart as a whip. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. I wish you a speedy recovery from all that you lost in earlier years. He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. Here go some of our favorite Texas sayings. -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. Shes got some snap in her garters.Hes got plenty of arrows in his quiver.Shes got horse sense.Hes got plenty of notches on his gun.Shes a right smart windmill fixer.He could find a whisper in a whirlwind.Theres no slack in her rope.Hes a three-jump cowboy.He can ride the rough string.If she crows, the sun is up.This aint my first rodeo. Leave them blank to get signed up. Bernard M. Baruch If you grab enough Texas land, somethin' good is bound to happen. 0 ; Copy Related PostsThe 7 Regions of TexasThings to Know before you go to Texas70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas. )He learned to whisper in a sawmill. -Markham Shaw Pyle, I highly enjoy the people down in that area. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first pretty self-explanatory! If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get . Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' J Jamie Oakes-Mitchell 33 followers More information Wishing you a Texas sized birthday! Got a big hole in the fence. Congratulations, and may life keeps smiling at you as it has been up to now. Her Skill 1 Trading Post buff is one of the highest in the game when paired with Lappland. (Say what? Anything that large and inspiring is bound to have a few haters, right? Explore the Lone Star State with Enchanting Texas Travel Blog. In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Hes got a big hole in his screen door.Shes one bubble off plumb.Shes one brick shy of a load.Shes two sandwiches short of a picnic.Hes a few pickles short of a barrel.Theres a light or two burned out on his string.Hes missing a few buttons off his shirt.The porch lights on but no ones home.Hes lost his vertical hold.Hes overdrawn at the memory bank.I hear you clucking, but I cant find your nest.Shes got too many cobwebs in the attic.Crazy as a bullbat.Crazy as Larrabees calf. 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Birthday Friends Husband Birthday Birthday Wishes Happy Birthday Sister Funny 60th Birthday 50th Birthday 50 Year Old Birthday Love Belated Birthday Thank You Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. George W. Bush, Theres a vastness here and I believe that the people who are born here breathe that vastness into their soul. You were too hard to raise to take chances.Dont dig up more snakes than you can kill.Whistle before you walk into a strangers camp.Dont plow too close to the cotton.A dead snake can still bite.A dead bee can still sting.Dont tip over the outhouse. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. Hey, we're thrilled that you're here! I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented because Texans think anything is possible. 6. As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I. Looks like shes been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.She looks like chewed twine.He looks like Bowsers bone.I was born tired and Ive since suffered a relapse.One wheel down and the axle dragging.Im near about past going. One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Don't mess with Texas. Youll also want to use these fabulous Texas puns! Oprah Winfrey God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. -James Michener. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. Next 1 - 75 of 18,884 images . Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! Preaching to the choir.Burning daylight.Arguing with a wooden Indian.Whistling up the wind.Hollering down a well. It's your 60th birthday! Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. - Funny Birthday wishes. 2. Funny Birthday Cake Quotes. Backup Charging Bankfor your cell phone since youll be using it as a camera, GPS system, and general travel genie. (Throwing up. Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. I like it here in Austin. If that aint a fact, Gods a possum. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? Hes got a hitch in his gitalong.Sick as a dog passing peach pits.All stove up.Im so sick Id have to get better to die.Sore as a boil.Her hoppers busted.As full of pains as an old window.Ive got the green apple nasties.He looks like death warmed over.So sick he needs two beds.Pitiful as a three-legged dog. Planning to Visit Texas? Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. -Jensen Ackles, Theres no better place than Texas to start over. John Connelly, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Kelly Clarkson, I truly think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world. Tommy Tune, You can take the girl out of Texas, but not Texas out of the girl. Janine Turner. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. She oversees the magazines travel and style sections. We hope you liked our quotes on Texas. Feel free to use this post to find beautiful quotes about Texas for your photo captions, Texas Instagram captions, Texas Whatsapp status, Viber status, Texas Facebook status, or however you want! Todays Texas is exhilarating, exasperating, violent, charming, horrible, delightful, alive. Edna Ferber, author, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Were still figuring out how to spell tolerance. 15. Birthday Wishes quotes I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. May God bless our brothers and sisters in the gray zone. It's your birthday! hes cheap. See more ideas about birthday greetings, birthday, greetings. 1. -Rosemary Kent, Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. I'm so thankful you're in my life, and I hope you have a very special birthday! She could start a fight in an empty house.Hed argue with a wooden Indian.She raised hell and stuck a chunk under it.Hes the only hell his mama ever raised.Hes got his tail up.Shes in a horn-tossing mood.Shes so contrary she floats up-stream.Shes dancing in the hog trough.Hell tell you how the cow ate the cabbage. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. And memories to store. 50 Fabulous Things to Do in Washington State: Bucket List & Beyond! Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch.Out where the buses dont run. 150 Birthday Quotes 1. 4. He could talk the legs off a chair. -Doc Holliday, When a lady accessorizes in here in Texas, shes selecting caliber, not color. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.A worm is the only animal that cant fall down.Never sign nothing by neon.Just because a chicken has wings dont mean it can fly.Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased.You cant get lard unless you boil the hog.If you cut your own firewood, itll warm you twice.Theres more than one way to break a dog from sucking eggs.Give me the bacon without the sizzle.Dont hang your wash on someone elses line.Do Gods will, whatever the hell it may be.Lick that calf again? It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! - The US death toll from . our birthday is October 26, 1886.) If you get sick, injured, or have your stuff stolen, youll be happy to have the ability to pay for your medical bills or replace whats stolen or broken. Did we forget any popular Texas idioms and sayings? You don't want to mess with a Texan who's throwing a hissy fit. Happy birthday, best friend. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? A day that's filled with happiness. Happy 60th Birthday. Many Baby Boomers acknowledge their 50 th . Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. Emily McCullar is a senior editor covering pop culture, news, and Texas history. Not what I had my face fixed for.Like hugging a rose bush.Nothing to write home about.That dog wont hunt.Id just as soon bite a bug.I dont cotton to it. Texas Sayings Never miss a good chance to shutup. Look what the cat dragged in.Companys coming; add a cup of water to the soup.Weve howdied but we havent shook.Put on your sitting britches.Lets chaw the rag. -Davy Crockett, Thats why I like Texans so much. Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.Thats close enough for government work.Might as well. Nows Your Chance. That is truer than true! 3. -Molly Ivins, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a d*** about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. He hangs out more often than Mamas washing.Hes like a blisterhe doesnt show up till the works all done. Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. In three days, no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. All cut up like a boardinghouse pit.Grinning like a mule eating cockleburs.Nervous as a pregnant jenny.Nervous as a fly in the glue pot.Nervous as a woodshed waiter.Shes chewing her bit. No membership required. Here's hoping you hear your husband say, "I have a present for youand it's jewelry!" I'm thinking of you today. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years. Texas is a blend of valor and swagger ~Carl Sandburg, There wouldnt be no Alamo, No Cowboys in the Superbowl No Lonesome Dove, no Yellow Rose, If it wasnt for Texas. George Strait, Im so shook. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. The Ultimate Texas Brand Bracket Is Down to Its Elite Eight, Ford or Chevy? thats the Texas spirit! A toast to you, birthday girl! That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. The 80 Cute quotes for her; The 60 Best Get Well Soon Quotes For Him or Her. To me old age is 15 years older than I am. Birthday Quotes Happy 28th Birthday Quotes & Funny Captions. Inspirational Birthday Quotes There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. Bless your heart. On my birthday, I wished for a friend like you. As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. They took a great failure and turned it into a tourist destination that makes them millions. Y'all is the southern contraction of you all, and it's meant to be used for when you're addressing more than one person. This is hog-killing weather.Theres only a strand of barbed wire between here and there, and its down (after a blizzard).Cold as a well-diggers knee.Cold as a frosted frog.Cold as an ex-wifes heart.Cold as a cast-iron commode.Cold as a bankers heart.Cold as hell with the furnace out. happy birthday wishes little bunny svg png eps cut files typography. - George Burns's funny birthday quote. His breaths so strong you could hang out the washing on it. It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. ". Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. -Larry McMurtry, This is Texas. Who are these people, these Texans? Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes - Unknown. He stays in the shadow of his mamas apron.If he was melted down, he couldnt be poured into a fight.Hes first cousin to Moses Rose.He wouldnt bite a biscuit.Hes yellow as mustard but without the bite.He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. Many people rush from one birthday to another without actually enjoying the journey. What: Navasota is throwing a Texas-sized two-day birthday party. Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself. Im madder than a wet hen! As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Today will be another one of those happy, beautiful, fun, and funny nights because we will celebrate the birthday of one of the best people that exists. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

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